4 months after a miscarriage is it normal to still cry over your baby?
Thursday, August 12th, 2010 at
7:12 am
It’s been since 12-3-06 and I still cry whenever I see commercials about babies or when someone is in the grocery store and have their baby in the stroller. Normal? or Post-Partum Depression?
Tagged with: after • baby • Miscarriage • months • Normal. • Over • still
Filed under: Miscarriage Depression
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
It maybe some kind of depression. Why don’t you talk to your doctor?
I would say it is normal but you should see your dr if you are worried.
how far along were you? I think it is normal, but try to be strong an plan for new pregnancy or do something else about it, maybe talk to your close ones. I think depression pills should be the last choice.
i think its just normal
Of course it’s normal. The loss of any child is bound to touch one deeply.
But rest assured that this miscarried child’s soul continues forevermore in the afterlife.
it’s normal, i had a miscarriage last year in march and i cried for about 6 months or so and still today every once in awhile when i see my little neice i cry because she would have had a cousin the same age…..if you are worried that it may be effecting your life i would go to a doctor and see if it’s depression that is also causing it and such…but just stick in there one day you’ll have a beautiful child you’ll cherish
if you need anyone to talk to go ahead and email me
bluemoondragon89@yahoo.com
best of wishes!
Its only logical that youd be experiencing such depressed feelings.
Its a hard thing to go through. You will never forget about it, but you have to move foward and know ur child is in a better place.
It’s different for everyone. I grew up in other countries and have noted that the active mourning process is dictated more about the beliefs of that society than by what the person feels. In some cultures, the active mourning process exceeds 2 years… in others, like the USA where needing to appear functional and needing to appear to have moved on (as signs of maturity and health), the active grieving process is generally less than 2 years.
In our practice, we see people often mourning the loss of a miscarriage 2-3-4 years afterwards. The intensity has decreased significantly, but when they’re in a safe environment (my office, hopefully), they shed the need to appease the world’s demand that they move on, grow up, get over it, and will eventually break down.
In the end… what does your heart tell you? At times the soul needs to complete it’s journey at a pace not liked by others, so folks arbitrarily cut off their own experience because it’s dictated by the world around them.
One caveat though… if you believe that your mourning is not healthy, do see a therapist or your MD. Meds are not recommended as the mourning is situational more than neurobiological.
Finally, just as an aside, while the external signs of mourning will eventually disappear, your own heart will never forget, it will carry the loss until you die. There are some rituals others use to help them in life, you’ll need to develop your own, and a good therapist cann help.
I’m so sorry this has happened… I can’t imagine this experience for myself. G’Luck!
Its very normal. Its only been 4 months. The dr. could give you something to ease some of it, But it will mostly take time.
I used to cry, and lose it every time I saw a baby. Or baby stuff. It will help once you get pregnant again. I know it does not take the saddness away , but gives you hope I guess.
I have lost 5 babies to miscarriage, and a stillborn birth of my twins, Trust me the sadness of losing a child at birth is 1 million times worse then it is earlier on……You will never fully get over it though…..
May i suggest a few things that gave me comfort…..
First if you didnt know what the baby was….. chose a sex for it, give the baby a name, so that you dont have to think of as THE BABY forever, then write the baby a letter, this is just to help you release some of your bottled up feelings….. When your done, Take something you bought for baby, and put it in a box, along with any ultasound pics, dr. bills anything that relates to baby, seal it, and put it in the closet,
This helped me greatly, When I was missing the baby badly I got the box out…….. I still have my boxes…. One day my children and grandchildren might find them as a great keepsake. I dont open them much anymore, but i wouldnt say I never do. I open the twins box way more then the others. But I also still go to the grave site several times a week. Bringing flowers, and just talking to my babies. If something Big in life happens , I always go talk to them, They were the first that knew I was pregnant this time…. Silly I know But its how I cope.
You have lost a baby & you won’t be getting over it in a hurry. Just relax & go through the motions of grief. You will probably shed a tear for your baby for the rest of your life but your episodes of saddness will become less intense & less frequent with time. I also lost a baby at 12wks pregnancy & i still feel sad about it & it was 6 years ago – the difference is that it isn’t consuming my life anymore & this is what will probably happen with you. However if you feel suicidal, want to harm yourself or simply find every day harder & harder then you probably need some help to find some peace & happiness again. If this is the case then try & organise somebody to talk too such as a counsellor. You’ll be good again in time.
yes it’s normal my baby died 2 days before you miscarried i don’t think it matters how long you have your baby weather your pregnant for 3 weeks or if you child is 40 years old your still a mother no matter what and even if your husband or boyfriend friends or family don’t understand don’t worry it’s a mother thing and it’s the worst pain you’ll ever have but i promise you’ll get through it a book i got that i really like that might help you cope better is called The child i never knew i’m sorry for your lose i still cry about my baby almost every day i’m sorry
Sweetie I too have had miscarriages-4 to be exact. Theres no right or wrong answer to this question. You have suffered a deep loss and its going to be a while for you yourself to deal with your sadness and grief. I would say yes its normal and I too have been through it many times. I do feel for you and I will pray for you.
it is perfectly normal… pregnancy is an emotional thing… don’t let anyone tell you otherwise… my wife has had 2 sons and she has been at both ends of the emotion roller-coaster… you’ll be ok…
i should say so!
i cant even imagine what it would be like. i’ve had several friends that have had miscarriages.
as far as post-pardom depression – my understanding is that it occurs after full-term birth.
you’re not the first one to feel like that – and you wont be the last