I delivered a baby 3 weeks ago. Her father and I split as soon as we found out about her. During pregnancy we kept some contact; his participation was minimal and he didn’t seem to interested for a long while. After the first U/S he became more interested and started calling more often. We had a few ups and downs; sometimes he was distant but got upset if I didn’t keep him informed. Emotionally was very rough on me. He put up a good show for the two weeks before her birth and that week after (when I was at the hospital). He called every other day and seemed to be really excited with the idea of her coming. He signed all the paternity paperwork voluntarily and put her on his insurance. He even was attentive to me, but I can’t say that he was leading me on. He pleaded with me to let her have his last name too because he didn’t want to feel “left out”. However, for the other two weeks after her birth he’s only seen her once a week for an hour at a time. He wants me to keep calling him to tell him how she’s doing and asking him for things to bring over for her, but dodges talking about a set amount for child support. I have tried to get on this subject a couple of times but he avoids it like wild fire. I’m picking up for every tab and doing all the work since she’s with me all the time.

He’s recently divorced and his x took him to the cleaners. I know this. I know he’s financially in bad shape but why should I show compassion to somebody who couldn’t show it to me and left me when I needed him the most. I understand that he was just coming out from a long time relationship and we were both rebounding from our previous marriages. The pregnancy was not planned or intended. I was told I couldn’t have children; however, I was on birth control to deal with hormonal issues and other medical problems. There’s no trapping situation here. I make better money than he does. I don’t want to have to fight and I don’t want to take him to family court because finishing off what the xwife couldn’t is not my idea of revenge and quite honestly i don’t like the sharing of the houses that the court will impose, but how do I get accross that he can’t enjoy his “rights” without fulfilling his responsibilities and that an occassional pack of diapers doesn’t cut it. IMO He’s acting more like an uncle than a father.

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I’m almost 17 weeks pregnant and consistently worried about the stability of my growing familys’ finances. I had to leave my night shift job a few weeks ago due to severe exhaustion and ‘morning’ sickness; I had hoped to work throughout my pregnancy to save money.

My husband is graduating college this month, and works part time at a job based on tips (his income fluctuates). He does not seem as worried as I am about our future financial situation. I’m so anxious about what kind of jobs he will be able to find when he gets out there next year, if it will be enough to support our little family. This is an unexpected pregnancy, and though I’m thrilled at the idea of being a mother I’m less than enthused about continuing to live in his parents’ beach house (rent free) because we can’t afford to go it on our own. I appreciate his family’s help, but I feel like I don’t have anything to call my own which is entirely depressing. Has anyone else been in a less than perfect financial situation when you became pregnant? How did you cope with the depression and anxiety?

I’m 36 weeks pregnant today with my second child. My first is 16 months old and I had no problems with that pregnancy other than the occasional emotional outburst. No depression afterward, but I did leave my husband 2 months later and we’re in the process of a semi-peaceful divorce. No custody battle, property problems or child support issues, but he’s not the father of this baby and he doesn’t want to pay for a paternity test to prove it, he wants me to do that. Not the issue at hand but I think it’s a factor in my emotional problems.

For the past month or so I’ve been feeling frantic but I can’t pinpoint a reason for it. I’m desperate to do something but I don’t know what it is, and I think my stress is ruining my relationship with my boyfriend. I’m also worried about money after the baby is born.

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I have been pro-abortion all of my life. but never would have thought of actually testing my beliefs personally.

i just found out last night that i am 4 weeks pregnant. i am currently 20 yrds and taking anti-depressants, anti-anxiety and anti-psychotics for multiple reasons such as manic depression agoraphobia, self mutilation, GAD, for just a few.
my decision has been to termintate the pregnancy. not only for my self but for my fiance (who is behind me 100%) and has two years of college to go untill he gets his degree.

my choice is not easy i have been upset and crying the entire time, but i am mentally unable to take care of a baby. i have been in the hospital many times this past year for failed suicide attempts and for the self mutulation. both me and my fiance is living with my parents and mooching off of them for food and even cash every now and again. we cannot even sustain a life for us let alone a baby.
why i did not choose adoption. if i am off my meds i get very depressed and suicidal. my anxiety peaks and i have many panic attacks. carrying the pregnancy to full term i dont doubt will kill me, and the child.
this is a decision that i have already made for my self, my soon to be husband and our children that we plan to have when we can support our selves. And very importantly when my depression anxiety and self mutilation is in better control. i am hurting my sister very much (only other soul that knows what i am doing) for she is strongly anti-abortion with 3 little ones of her own. yet i feel very confidant when she told me that she understands that my medical issues must be taken care of prior to having a child.

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If people see a young girl with a baby…they look at her with disdain…or ridicule. I always thought that was funny..because her OTHER option is abortion..and if she goes through with that..what has she accomplished? Living in misery with her shame, not being able to tell ANYONE, having people bash her for that?

Then there are other women in general who are completely RIPPED apart about their pregnancies or abortions. As if it’s NOT bad enough being a woman without being pregnant…now..we hold the blame for pregnancy and ANY decision regarding it….yet SOOOOOO many women I know are abused and exploited…they are pressured into an abortion and violated in the WORST WAY POSSIBLE. No one lends them a hand when they need the support. It’s not enough to say “She should have been strong…things will work out…adoption…etc.”. I don’t think some people understand how mentally vulnerable you are when you are pregnant…I know….It was AMAZING how vulnerable I was…looking back on it..I couldn’t believe how weak I was…it’s SCARY..especially when you don’t have ANY support AND someone pressuring you. I have seen the strongest women taken advantage of. By family…men…clinics…etc. But what makes it the absolute WORST is that the people who bash women are…OTHER WOMEN. How sad is this? It breaks my heart. Women go through SO much & we waste our time being hateful and hypocritical.

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Is this normal? Are my hormones going crazy? I feel like I’m in a blur. Also, I think it may be post-partum depression. I feel like I have no support hardly and I had issues prior to being pregnant mentally. I think I suffered from seasonal anxiety disorder. I am not going to commit suicide and might have considered it during pregnancy but am now past it, whether it is better or just pushed away, I’m not sure. Does anyone have any insight into this feeling or bluriness and just overall loss of appetite? Might I have depression or is it hormones?

On May 2, my 17 year old sister gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Juliet Rose. I love her more than I can express.

My sister has had a history of problems, and she was diagnosed as bipolar and depression last year. All through the pregnancy she was up and down, never being able to make up her mind on what she was going to do. My dad and I did our best to support her no matter what. She finally decided to keep the baby.

Three days ago, the day after he 18th birthday, I woke up and she was gone. No note, nothing. She just disappeared, and left her new born with us.

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Since the beginning of my 2nd trimester i have felt very sad and depressed. I don’t think about hurting myself or anything, just really sad. Like i don;t know what i am doing. How do i prepare for this baby? I am scared to talk to my doctor for fear that she would call social services or something. I had that happen before when i was a child, went to a therapist said i was depressed so they called social services. I have always suffered from depression since i hit puberty. but never medicated. I don’t know if its possible to have Post par tum depression while pregnant, or just my hormones. another reason i don’t want to talk to my doctor is that i was raised very old fashioned by my grandmother who taught me not to say anything about depression to anyone. Just deal with i. my question is, is it normal to feel depressed and lonely during pregnancy, even with a husband around to support you??

Let me give you some background on me: I just turned 24, I have 2 children, and I’m going to take classes this fall. I was going to start classes several years ago, but I had several problems with depression, anxiety, two high-risk pregnancies, and various other health problems. I am in better health, my children are a little older, and I have a pretty good support system. The thing is, I’m not a very social person-I never was, and I’m kind of worried about how things will go when I start. I mean, I know that there are people well into their 40s and 50s that start school, but I feel that I lack that self-assuredness to feel okay once I am around all of these people that will be younger than me. So-for anyone that started college later in life, can you please give me some general information on how your first semester went; if you felt out-of-place at all, and how you got over that? Genuine responses, please. I’m honestly a little scared of having this experience.
Well, as I briefly stated- I have a problem with anxiety. I worry that people will look at me, and (even though I can’t buy cigarettes without getting carded) will think ‘Damn. She’s kinda old to be here.’ Which, I know is illogical-but that doesn’t make me stop thinking about it. As for being some social butterfly…that ship has long since sailed and sunk. I have a 2 and 3 year old. I barely have time to shave my legs, much less join a wet t-shirt contest. I have no real interest in making friends (although it may be nice, and prove worthwhile later), or joining social groups-but things like study groups can be helpful, and sometimes people take my being quiet as being snobby, which I’m not. I’m just afraid that my anxiety over the age difference is going to push me off the course I’m on. If I can get over that, then I think that lowers the possibility that I will have some fit of anxiety and end up quitting.

I have been battling this addiction for over 4 years now. I started out taking a 1/2 of a 500mg vicodin once a week, just when I got a really bad tension headache. I quickly realized I felt “good” when I took them, so gradually started taking more often. That continued for about a year & a 1/2. Then I got pregnant. I was able to stop cold turkey, however I did take a total of about 5 pills throughout my whole pregnancy when aches & pains were really bad. I have always had a high tolerance for pain medications, so otc tylenol DOES NOT help me. So the minute you deliver a baby, guess what, they prescribed me a shiny new rx for darvocet. So since the day my baby was born in Aug. of ’07, I have not had 1 clean day. I have extreme depression, & little to no help or support from my husband. The pills make me feel not so sad, & gave me the energy I needed to “handle my business”. Over time my habit has increased tremendously..& I’m now taking at least 20 10/325mg Norco daily. I do have my own rx, but that lasts me all of 4 or 5 days, so then I start my “hunt” for a score. I buy 4 different peoples rx’s & am spending over $700 monthly on just the pills. Not to mention that while I’m on pills I smoke a pack a day, drink red bull & Starbucks like there’s no tomorrow, & have manic shopping habits. I have NO self control. My habit is costing my family everything we have. We can longer pay our bills, & my kids don’t have a mommy. The energy the pills used to give me went away a long time ago, now I barely have the motivation to shower. I can’t live like this anymore.
I have hit my bottom, & I HAVE to quit.
We can’t afford rehab, & my husband makes to much $$ to qualify for any special “scholarships”…so basically I’m screwed. The other night I decided to talk to my G’pa about helping us to pay for a detox program. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. My G’pa thinks so highly of me, & to tell him that I’m a drug addict was so painful. He has bailed us out sooooo many times financially in the past, he just can’t afford to pay for it. I should’ve asked him for help a long time ago…but…woulda, coulda, shoulda isn’t going to help now.
So I basically “told on myself” so now I have no other option BUT to quit. Since I can’t afford to pay for rehab, I have to do this at home. The plan is, my mom & husband are going to take a week off work & basically nurse me back to health…but I’m SCARED!!! I’ve heard so many horror stories.
I’m writing this in hopes that someone out there has some advice for me. I’m terified of the pain, diahrrea, nausea, bone aches, insomnia…all of it. I’ve read all these “recipes” that are supposed to help with wd symptoms, but believe it or not, I’m scared of taking drugs…I know funny right. I would like to be able to do this with ibuprofen, tylenol pm, immodium, & hot baths….but is that just ridiculous for me to even think that possible?? I don’t want to use suboxyn, or valium or any other substance to wd because my addictive personality will become addicted to them..I just know it.
If anyone out there has any advice for me..PLEASE help. I’m planning to do this the week after Thanksgiving, I would like to be back to my normal self by Christmas.