Family Problems PLease help?
My boyfriend and his brother purchased a house together almost 2 years ago. I began dating him since they moved in to the house. I am now 4 months pregnant and living with them both. We have had many problems and conflicts with his brother. He is almost 33, single and can not get a girlfriend. My boyfriend feels that he is stuck living in this house at the moment and feels like he can not leave his brother stuck. I am constantly depressed and feel horrible living in this house. I want more then anything to have a place where I can live with my baby and boyfriend alone and in peace. My boyfriend is different when his brother is around and we never have time or privacy for just the two of us. My boyfriend is almost 30 and I am almost 25. I am still in school and he feels that this isn’t a good time to move out. He says i need to finish school and he needs to grow his Business more. I have an apt that I never stay in because my boyfriend wants me to live with him. We live in the outskirts of a city in the country. My apt is further in the country then his house. Staying there alone does not make me feel any better. I do not know what to do… I feel like all the stress and lack of emotional and physical support from my boyfriend during this pregnancy is hurting me and the baby. He is more concerned with his work and family then with me and this child. Everyone says that once the baby is here he will change, but how can i be sure. His family support him and his brother in everything and have been the main ones to tell him that he can not move out and leave his brother. ( Since he is alone and single and has problems with depression) I have talked to my boyfriend many many many times but nothing changes. He doesn’t see anything wrong rather I am the one with the problem. ( that is what i am sure is parents make him believe) I didnt know what to do.. I am sad everyday and feel like he is not here for me the way I need him to be. When we lay in bed and i ask him to rub my back or massage me he says he is tired from working all day. And is usually falling asleep. I feel like i have no support and it just makes it 100 times worse the living situation and that I have no family or friends in this state. Advice would be great.. And if i sound emotional I am.. its a very difficult time…
For the very rude LUV2HELP!!! His brother doesnt care about him or anyone! He went as far as physically pushing to get through and attack his brother!
Tagged with: FAMILY • help • please • Problems
Filed under: Pregnancy Depression Support
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Talk to both
I understand, and know that your arent the only one feeling this way. I know that staying at the apt isnt exactly what you want to do right now, but many its the best. If anything, It will open his eyes to the fact that you are serious! And it’s ok to be emotional, youre 4 months pregant for crying out loud! I say, dont wait for the baby to come and see if things get better, make them better NOW. Show him that you love and respect him, but dont push youre own feelings aside.
YOu Two need to get into counseling right now and deal with issues immediately. If he refuses, You must leave and do not expect him ever to come along. The reality is he might chose his brother over you, but once the kid is born, he will have to come up with a lot of maintainance and child support money. Don;t believe what other say about how he’ll cahnge later. change MUST BE NOW!
He sounds like a complete jerk if you ask me. He is not putting things into proper PERSPECTIVE, unless he really doesn;t want you or the kid. ONly in counseling can the truth come out. Go now and drag him by the hair with you if necessary.
listen, you are the outsider, they had their thing going before you even came in the picture. This was a business decision they made, it had nothing to do with a “25″ year old getting pregnant! If you don’t like their arrangment, go back to your apartment, nobody has you chained there. Geez. Don’t come between these two brothers because you will end up the loser. You’ll be a single parent in your own little apartment if you don’t watch it. If I were you I would make the best of it. It’s the three of you for now and nothing is going to change that. Maybe you should of thought this out better before having unprotected sex and before marriage. Now you want to cry about his brother who has always been in the picture? Please, grow up!
First, I am very sorry that you are going through this. I feel that your boyfriend MUST put your needs before his brother. You have to make that clear to him. You must tell your bf to tell his brother to move on with his life. I, too, am like your bf’s brother. I am 35, single, and can’t get a girlfriend. But I live with my mother. Do I feel ashamed? Of course. But I have to deal with this situation. So does your bf’s brother. tell your bf to tell his brother to move back home with his parents.
Best of luck to you. Remember, you deserve the best and don’t accept anything less.
YOU moved in with your boyfriend and his brother. Your boyfriend can’t move out and leave his brother with the entire mortgage to pay because your boyfriend signed a CONTRACT to pay part of the mortgage. You are obviously very immature if you can’t understand the law. If your boyfriend walks out leaving his brother with the mortgage and breaking the contract his brother can sue your boyfriend for everything that he owns and that includes any monetary holdings so that you and your boyfriend would probably NEVER be able to get a place of your own. You CHOSE to put yourself in this situation…grow up and fact the responsibilities and consequences of your actions instead of whining like a baby.