Fear of pregnancy after miscarriage?
I had a missed miscarriage at 8/12 weeks, 7 weeks ago. I am getting married in three months and my husband to be constantly talks about the wedding night and how we will try for a baby , I have nearly lost all the weight I gained and my wedding ring wont fit and I said lets get it altered and he said no cos you will be pregnant before you know it. To be honest I am totally put off pregnancy the thought makes me feel sick. they found no heartbeat and I had to be given pills in hospital and I saw everything and the pain was horrendous. I cant imagine ever wanting to try again because I dont want to go through that again and all the worry but it did not happen to him and he wants a kid straight away. how can I tell him and will I get over my fear of miscarriage? I would love to have a kid but I am so scared of it and I said I dont even want a scan untiI I can feel it move everyday but right now I cant see me wanting any children – well I got a son from a previous relationship and he wants one of his own. Pregnancy before this was a happy time but not now pregnancy now to me means sadness and misery and tears and worry I cant move on I dont think. My mother told me to get some help but why I go to work everyday where I work with y1 children I adore my job to bits.
Tagged with: after • Fear • Miscarriage • Pregnancy
Filed under: Pregnancy Sadness
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You need to grieve through this and mourn and work through it before having another kid. Once you are ready, you will be happy to have another one
That’s a very complex situation.
First thing, I am sorry for your experience and the doctors should have had more sense than to leave you without anesthesia. It has been the trauma that has put you off.
However, it is possible that you don’t feel ready now. It is just too early and I assure you that Time heals everything. So… what I don’t understand is why your fiancé cannot understand your situation. Before you marry, please have a talk with him and communicate how you feel about it.
When you feel ready and before you get pregnant, consult a doctor about taking some precautions, food supplements, get regular check ups etc. Maybe some affirmations or visualizations could help you too. Build an altar/shrine for your baby.
Loving your job is fine but that doesn’t compare with your own children. A job isn’t forever. Motherhood is.
The way you are feeling is perfectly normal. You need to grieve this way. But your mourning will last for a little while, and once you have placed this difficult time behind you, you will be ready to have another baby. It’s just something you will feel. Maybe you should be honest about how you feel to your husband. And express to him that it would be the healthiest for you to conceive another child once you are emotionally ready. I am so sorry for your loss. I wish you the best of luck.
Your mom is right. You need to seek some help. This will not go away on its own. There are many options for getting some help. There are therapists, local support groups, online support groups and mentoring. Many local support groups will have someone that can talk to you on the phone if you can’t make the meetings. Your soon to be husband also needs help to understand that this is a complex issue that can’t be rushed.
Here are a few websites for help
http://www.silentgrief.com/
http://www.bornangels.com/
http://www.babylosscomfort.com/grief-resources/
http://www.unitegriefsupport.org/
I am so very sorry for you loss. Feel free to email me if you need to talk to someone that understands
ETA Even if you never feel ready to have another child that is ok and normal too. I just thought that needed to be said.
why keep your door shut and let your husband go hungry for…..and food also at least for 9 months. thanks.