How do I pull myself out of this depression? My husband is not supportive and I just had a miscarriage?
He’s absolutely unreliable and I will think about and possibly take the next step after I get better. I suffered a miscarriage while he left me in pain so that he can go out with his buddies..he says he’s embarrassed of me. I feel really crappy right now and I’m seeing a counseler who is helping me and my doc gave me anti-depressants that don’t work..I don’t want to get up i n the morning. I don’t even wear makeup anymore. I just feel so ugly and unwanted..i guess i’m also heartbroken.
I feel really traumatized that My whole life was turned upside down while his didn’t change at all.
Tagged with: Depression • husband • Just • Miscarriage • myself • pull • supportive • this
Filed under: Miscarriage Depression
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Get better and then leave him.
I’m sorry, but what kind of husband leaves his wife when she’s having a miscarriage to go out with his friends? A pig.
dam, i know exactly how you feel, i just had a stillborn and my boyfrined, i feel like it didnt fase him one bit. :[
I think the reason why they show no emotion is becuase they didnt know the baby like we did, The baby lived in us! not them, so thats why im gussing becuase thats the only thing i can think about. Maybe you shouldnt be with him right now, take time apart. I feel the exact same as you do, i feel im never going to get over this unless i have another baby, try to get pregnant again! that would make you feel alot better! :]
Im so sorry for your lost! i know how it feels, ;[
What?! He left you so he could go out and get drunk with his buddies?! What a jerk! The pain will go away in time. I know all about it; I once had a miscarriage. Get better and leave him. He should have been there for you, but he wasn’t.
ok you are not alone i had the same thing! this is what you do. fix your self before anyone else. look life is only what you make it and you can’t look to anyone to make you happy but your self.
ok this is what i did. i had a break down and i went to the hospital to see my dr. and she wanted to send me away for treatment and i said fuck that and i drove driving is realxing when its just open spaces. and i drove and drove and i went rock climbing just started to walk into the woods and realax i realized if i can do this on my own and climb a rock and over ook everything then i can do anything. when you do something on your own and realize you did with out help it makes you so much more happier and stronger.
loosing a baby is hard but everything is for a reason. its a sign thatyou need to have support for each other before you try for a baby.
and maybe some medications may work for you just a little energy to get you to see things on a different side.
he sounds horrible.
i’d leave him.
you deserve much better than that.
It sounds like you need to leave your husband. When he says things like that he’s embarassed of you he is belittling you and not being at all supportive of you. This is not someone who you should be with. Not only will he not help to bring you out of your depression but he will make it worse. The way you are feeling is 100% understandable and normal for your situation. I am sorry to hear about your loss. I just suffered the loss of my baby in november and it is a hard thing to recover from. Your husband has experienced this circumstance differently than you have, and it is impossible for him to understand completely how you feel, but it sounds like he isn’t even trying to be supportive of you. The only thing that will help you get over the loss of a baby is time. To get out of your depression you need to improve your own life and surround yourself with people who love you. Keeping yourself busy will also help to keep your mind off of things, but it won’t make your problems go away. You have to deal with this head on. Get rid of him and give yourself time to recover emotionally.
A man just doesn’t have the same connection to the baby. Hell, he may have even been relieved.
Not being there to support you though… that sucks.
However, I would guess from the way you talk that your problems might just go deeper than just him, and he might be a symptom of something else. (That is, the fact that you are with a guy who is so dismissive might be a symptom of other issues.)
NOT having had the baby might be a mixed blessing. Perhaps life is trying to tell you that there some other things you might want to get right with yourself before you try again.
Chin up, girl. You’ve been through a tough spot… now is your opportunity to grow from it. I don’t mean that in a jerky way, only compassionate… you have to get right with yourself. This could have been your ‘wake up call.’ Too bad it has to be such a rough one, though.
I’m sure that it’s probably both your losing the pregnancy as well as his negative effect on you. Being as honest as you have been here (though the anonymity afforded online certainly makes it easier), I believe, shows a good amount of the quality of person that you are.
In any case, I think that you should first handle your emotions from the miscarriage. Obviously that’s not something that’s going to be easy to deal with, but you will get through it. You should also leave your husband because he’s not living up to his end of the agreement. When you leave him, you’ll probably feel liberated and empowered, which may also help your feelings about the miscarriage.
Be open and communicative with both your therapist and doctor, they can’t help if they don’t know.
How long have you been on the anti-depressants? A lot of times it can take up to 8 weeks to get feeling better. l was on anti-depressants from my freshman year of high school until l turned 22. l would see if there is some other medication your doctor might recommend (depending on how long you have been on your current medication). Do you have any activities you like to do? Try not to let this consume your life, you are a strong person and you can get through this. l will say a prayer for you to help you through your difficult time. Things will get better, and good luck!
From what your saying I can see that you don’t need drama in your life and you don’t need someone who isn’t there for you or says he’s embarrassed of you. Remember don’t ever let yourself go. That’s giving him power to know that you aren’t moving on. It may be easier said than done but do it for yourself and move on. No one needs that.