long: depression, fiance, pregnant (re-post with some added info)?
Hi girls (and guys)! This is going to be long, so please bare with me. I am currently 32w1d pregnant with my 2nd child (it’s a boy!). I had my daughter at only 18 and married her father. We did our best to make things work, but we just were not meant for each other so we have been divorced and seperated for a little over 2 years. I have been dating another man for 2 years now. We actually just got engaged in April. We talked about having kids in the future, but had an unexpected pregnancy instead (i was on the pill). While we were scared of what was to come, we both embraced it and enjoyed this entire pregnancy. He has come to every doctor’s appointment, every ultrasound, showed off our 3d ultrasounds more than I have, is always rubbing my belly, and sings happy birthday to the baby every week. What I am trying to say is he is very hands on and helpful.
Everything was fine until Tuesday. He decided to disappear for the night where he slept in a park just because he did not want to come home. I saw him the next day where he was at his family’s house and we talked for about an hour. He told me he wants to be in the baby’s life, but he can’t be with me anymore. He can’t be with anyone. I got no further explanation than that. He said there is nothing I can do to change his mind.
As I am sure you can imagine, I am completely shocked and heartbroken. I feel like my entire life was flashed before my eyes. I am so tired of everyone telling me that I have to just worry about my kids now, and get over him. Is there anyone out there that can understand why its just not that easy? Why its just not that easy to forget about him and move on with my life? He was the one who was physically, emotionally, and financially supporting us, and I feel like I have lost it all. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I have an appt with my doctor on Monday to discuss all this and check on the baby’s health, etc. I try to force myself to eat for atleast the baby, but my nerves are so shot and I just can’t do it. She said she will also give me a referral to speak with a therapist (thank god, because I really think I need it right about now). I really just want to give up and run away myself.
Is there anyone that can give me some helpful advice and kind words? Thank you so much. xx
***Just wanted to add that I am now currently 25, so my daughter is almost 8 and he is already a father of one and divorced as well. His son is almost 5. My daughter is also a mess over this.
Tagged with: added • Depression • fiance • info • long • Pregnant • repost • Some
Filed under: Pregnancy Depression Support
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
First I want to tell you that I understand what you are going through, I am 25 and pregnant with my third child. This is also the third time that I have been engaged and my son is 8 my daughter 3. Anyway, it only gets better and it may not be what you want to hear but you do have move on and worry about your kids. They will only be okay knowing that you are ok, my past experiences. Find your resources, know who in your area can help you, talk to your friends and family. Get a support system any and everybody who is willing to support you emotionally and mentally. It will be ok…if your at the bottom you have no where to go but up. Also, remember you are not alone and there is always someone worst off than you. Good luck and God Bless…
Pregnancy can make a momma emotional on a good day, and to go through a breakup will only make you that much more emotional. In an ideal world, you would be able to set your feeling aside and concentrate on the baby, but this isn’t an ideal world. My suggestions would be to keep your appointment on Monday as well as any other scheduled appointments. As far as not being able to eat, I know it’s hard, but if you can get any food down you really need to eat something (comfort foods are always good). If you absolutely cannot eat try to drink some nutritional supplements like Ensure or another meal replacement drink. These aren’t ideal long-term but will help keep nutrients in your body until your stomach settles.
Best wishes, and remember that things will get better.