My husband has changed after baby…?
I usually get great advice and support from yahoo moms so i wanted to share a little feelings i have hidden for awhile…
After one happy year of marriage with my husband we were blessed with a child.. she is 12 days old today. Ive gone through depression during my pregnancy.. its sickening to say now but i thought about dying with a child in me.. i had to hide all these feelings from my husband because i know his not .. how can i say this… like.. his not a person who will hold me and say i love you.. his the type to say “get help” dont get me wrong now.. his a great guy.. if he wasnt i would of never married him.. now i regret hiding all thoes feeliings behind..
I had a c-section due to few complication… recovering is painful and my heart cant seem to know how to be happy anymore.. i stare at my little baby girl and tear in joy and fear.. i terrified to die later and leave her behind.. i guess this fear comes from my dad passing away when i was only 10 yrs old. ive been getting very little sleep and my body and mind is exhausted.. when i got home from the hospital i was in horrible pain.. i couldnt sit and get up on my own. going to restroom was hell and i had no help. my husband did not help me with my baby the first day or the second day. he slept while i was pulling myself up from the bed to change babys diaper. He have not been preparing food for me either. i have not been able to eat anything other than fast food past 10 days. i feel weak and i can seem to find a way to talk to my husband. i am afraid this is going to start a huge argument.
i have too much mixed emotion and cant do anything.. i want to tell him how i feel but i am afraid his going to just ignore it all.. what can i do to get his attention and make him realize how horrible he has been to me..???
Tagged with: after • baby • changed • husband
Filed under: Pregnancy Depression Support
Like this post? Subscribe to my RSS feed and get loads more!
Sit down and talk with him while baby is sleeping. Tell him how hes made you feel. Dont let him carry on with this kind of behaviour just because youre afraid of a fight. You need his help. Its his child too.
If you continue to allow him to think what he is doing is okay, then he will keep doing it.
It’s not okay.
You need to talk with him without any distractions. Make sure the baby is in bed, turn off the tv, etc.
Tell him you know that this is all new to him just like it is to you, and you know that he is stressed out and tired just like you, but that you feel like you’ve been a single parent so far and that he’s not really being considerate or helpful.
Maybe you can ease him into the role of dad. Next time the baby needs a diaper, tell you have to go the bathroom and make him change it. If he flat out refuses then you know this is more than just new-dad anxiety or jealousy and you may need to talk to someone with clinical experience on how to get him involved.
Next time he is awake, make him hold the child, tell him you need to leave for a few hours, and walk out the door.
Is there anyone else who can help you? Getting help from any where you can should be you 1st priority. If I were in your place I would find someone to talk to that wasn’t my husband. This way you might not feel so scared and confused. You sound so sad. It sounds like you love you husband, but you need to get help for yourself 1st, before you try to talk to him. My best to you.