Post miscarriage depression help?
I’ve been married since September and have had two miscarriages since January – the most recent of which was 5 weeks ago. The second one, it wasn’t that bad at first, but for the past 3 weeks have been falling deeper and deeper into a depression.
I can admit to myself that I’m self medicating with alcohol – but i do so to avoid what feels like anxiety attacks and breakdowns. I need help, but I don’t know how to go about getting any, it’s hard enough for me to complete a chore…
I need help and this is my baby step towards doing so…(pun not intended)
Tagged with: Depression • help • Miscarriage • Post
Filed under: Miscarriage Depression
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I’m very sorry for your loss, talk to your doctor about medication for depression. Alcohol will only make it worse, I know it must be hard to deal with such tragedy, and hopefully in the near future u will be able to carry a baby full term with no complications. Some women have 5 and 6 miscarriages before they carry a child full term. Keep your head up and try not to think about the negative, I know that’s easier said then done. Maybe go out with some friends or go and get a massage or pedicure. and get your mind off of things
best of luck to u in the future
I’m so sorry to hear about your losses, and I know it’s a difficult time for you. I think it’s great that you realize that you need some help. The first place I would look would be your husband if you have not already. You need to talk to him about your depression, and don’t expect him to fix it and he shouldn’t try, but at least it’ll be in the open so that he can support and help you through this. Then I would seek professional help. Friends can be great, but they’re most likely to tell you what you want to hear without any real substance. Try to find a counselor in grief and loss. In fact, your ob/gyn might know someone to talk to. Please seek out help and work through this so that you may find happiness.
You need to see a doctor for your depression and then see a fertility expert to see what is causing your miscarriages. I had two myself after my twins and I know how devastating this is but you need to pick yourself up and go on. Hopefully you can find a good doctor that can help you through this so that you can someday have a healthy baby.
my mom went through 7 miscarriages, and did not use alchol to get through it all, i think u will b ok, time heals everything
Ive been through 2 miscarriages as well. You just have to keep faith. And if you want a baby you HAVE to stop drinking. I now have a 3 year old and a 2 year old and honestly, the moment I saw my 3 year old I realized this is who I was supposed to have. And I am a better mother for it. I appreciate just having my kids. I know how easily it could have been that I would never have them. You have to move on and know that when you do have a baby these experiences will aid you. You will cherish that baby because you went through so much to get to that point. Have faith and be the best most healthy person you can be. Your future baby and you deserve that.
Unfortunately this is something every person deals with differently. I had two miscarriages between two of my three kids. The first one I was only a couple of weeks and it didn’t hurt me emotionally as much as the second one did which happened at 3 months. I dealt with mine just like a death. I cried really hard and quite a lot and some of my closest friends cried with me. In the end I used laugher to help me. It really helps if you find someone to talk to maybe from church or school or work. You haven’t been married long so maybe right now would be a good time to only focus on your marriage and each other and let the baby business go for awhile then see what happens. Its going to be hard but I promise it will get a little easier as time goes by, find a hobby and keep yourself busy and maybe avoid being around babies and small kids for awhile. Remember its also important to let your body heal itself physically and that will help your mental state too. Good luck and hang in there honey.
Listen I speak from experience I recently miscarried at 6 weeks. It was very early on but it was still traumatic. Last thing you want to do now is fill your head with negativity. Your mind is a very powerful thing. First and foremost you need to stay positive no matter what the outcome. The night I miscarried & the entire day after was my time to grieve. I cried, over-analized the situation, saw my doctor, and ultimately came to terms with what had happened in a more constructive way. The means you are choosing are nothing but distructive and this will do nothing but further harm to you. Once I miscarried I learned that so many people I knew had, had similar experiences. Having a miscarriage is very common. This was very comforting to me it was my way of feeling like I was not alone. One of the major issues I had with my miscarriage was that I felt I had done everything right. For example I don’t drink, have never done drugs, eat very healthy, work out regularly, I don’t even take birth control. What I am trying to say is alcohol will harm your body especially when a baby is what you want. Last thing you need to do right now is put your own health in danger because you & I both know that is no way to lead towards conception & a healthy pregnancy. I recommend that you educate yourself on the subject buy books, surf the web, even talk with your doctor. The more I learned the better I felt. If somewhere down the line you feel you are unable to take control of your mental state and bring yourself back into a more positive state of being I highly recommend you seek professional help and they will help you through the process. Best Wishes and stay positive at all times!!!
Hey Hunny…. you answered a question of mine earlier and i wanted to contact you. I understand what your going threw and i also got drunk at first but i no longer am because just think what if you got pregnant agian and didnt know and then alcohol could hurt the baby. So i know its hard but you have to be strong and get involved in activities to keep your mind away from the thoughts……. and believe God has a plan and whether we are meant to ever be able to have children or not there IS a plan for us… and God knows what he is doing. We may not ever have children of our own but somehow someway he will make away for us to understand. Be strong Hunny and best luck to you……. mine was a little boy, did you get to know on yours? Im sending you baby dust……
Oh and a song to maybe help you is:
If Heaven by Andy Griggs
Broken World by Across the Sky
oh and a poem i wanted to share…..
What makes a mother
I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked “What makes a Mother?”
And I know I heard Him say.
“A Mother has a baby”
This we know is true
“But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby’s not with you?”
“Yes, you can,” He replied
With confidence in His voice
“I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there’s no need to stay.”
“I just don’t understand this God
I want my baby to be here.”
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.
“I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child’s smile,
With all the other children and say…
‘We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come strait here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow’s where I lay
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don’t be sad today,
I’m your baby and I’m here.’
“So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they’ll stay.
They’ll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson’s through.
And on the day that you come home
they’ll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother,
It’s the feeling in your heart
it’s the love you had so much of
Right from the very start
Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They’ll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!”
Sorry about this my wife and i been married since September Too. she is Pregnant. just ask God To take care of you And you’ll see that thing will get OK
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith.
God knows how much i love my wife and my baby so i ask God To take care of her and the baby.