unplanned pregnancy..I really need advice plz help:(?

10 Comments

1. yinyin says:

   July 25, 2010 at 7:47 am

   Have you considered adoption? No offense, but it sounds like you really need some time to get yourself together. But a child is a lot of stress. Especially in the begining. However, it can bring so much joy into your life.
2. brandy says:

   July 25, 2010 at 7:57 am

   Most woman don’t know they’re pregnant until about 5 weeks or so, so I don’t think that it will have as big of an affect on your child as you’re so worried about. If you’re against abortion, than I don’t suggest having one. I know some people who have had one who were against it and they say it was the biggest mistake of their lives. If you go through with this pregnancy, consider adoption with the possibility of you getting your child back when your life is more stable. If not, then deal with things as they come. Life is never what anybody expects it to be and most pregnancies aren’t planned to begin with.
3. elvira_niki says:

   July 25, 2010 at 8:29 am

   i don’t think that you should have an abortion, i don’t think that its right, but if you think that you wont be able to support the baby why not consider adoption? plus i heard that if you still have your period while pregnant you can have a miscarriage. but the decision is totally up to you. i think that you should talk to your doctor and i think that he will tell you what your options are and whats best for you, good luck
4. Diane says:

   July 25, 2010 at 9:05 am

   A baby can bring a lot of joy into your life but the hormones during pregnancy can elevate your depression. Seek the advice of your doctor. I do not believe in abortion and with prayer all things are possible. So seek the advice of your doctor and do a lot of praying
5. Cass says:

   July 25, 2010 at 9:12 am

   Sorry to hear about all that is going on in your life hun…congrats on your pregnancy though even if it is unplanned and not really something that you wanted. You have to look at it though as you are lucky to be pregnant and that you were able to get pregnant because a lot of women out there try so hard to get pregnant and have a baby and can’t so think of yourself as lucky in one sense!! You don’t have to do abortion if you don’t want to…you don’t have to listen and do what other people tell you to do. If you want to keep the baby you can…and should. I don’t believe in abortion personally…If I were you and I didn’t want to KEEP the baby I would go through the pregnancy and end up giving the baby for adoption because I don’t think a child who didn’t bring themselves to the world should have to be killed and not have a chance at life because of two people’s mistake, you know? Not putting it in a negative way but that’s just how it is…the baby should have a chance! I do know that if you are pregnant you need to stop taking that medicine that you are on for your aniexty depression and all of that because you are not supposed to take that if pregnant so if you could stop that, that would be great. I would go to the dr who prescibed you the med and talk to him/her about what you should do since you are pregnant and what not. It would only probably cause seizures if you stopped taking it completely like just stopping all together..your dr would probably take you off little by little and not ALL at once because that is when it would cause seizures hun.

   If there is a way you could get back to work that would be great because you would be able to save up and make some money for the baby. You didnt’ say anything about the dad or anything being around..I am taking that it’s your boyfriend or maybe husband that got you pregnant but I don’t know your status so not sure. Maybe the dad could help you out as far as money goes and helping you provide for the baby and take care of the baby? Hope I helped and best of luck to you! Please don’t kill the baby!!! All the best…really. Take care!! Hope all goes well for you!
6. Da cutie says:

   July 25, 2010 at 9:12 am

   since you dont believe in abortion dont do it that would just cause more depression but you could try adoption ..and youll get tons of help while your pregnant ..about the ativan ask your doctor
7. sprink says:

   July 25, 2010 at 10:09 am

   i only have a little advice, i am 11weeks pregnant, i am 18. living with my bf, neither of us have jobs, or finished school. we barely eat each week but we have learned to make it through on nothing. this was one of my main concerns, i thought there was no way we could support a kid. however there are a few programs that can really help you out. if u need insurance there’s husky which is free and I haven’t finished with figuring out everything but my bf’s mom had him at 19 with no money and she was able to take care of him through a program which supplied her with diapers, food, etc, for the first couple of years. I’m sure there are many organizations which you can find out about which could be very helpful. good luck~!
8. railroad_78745 says:

   July 25, 2010 at 10:43 am

   Hello S,
   Let me be the first to say: *CONGRATULATIONS!!!* You may not realize it right now, but you are blessed and VERY fortunate.

   Now I’m gonna talk straight to you here.

   First off~ Who is the father? Do you have any support from him? Do you want support? How about your family, do they know & would they support you, if you had it? Find out ASAP.
   And here’s the real question- How do YOU feel….. Do YOU want the baby? Because ultimately it doesn’t matter what ANYONE else thinks, or if you have their support.. all that really matters is if YOU love it and want it. Don’t listen to the advice of others who say ‘Yeah, sorry you’re in a jam. Do what you gotta do. I know lots of people who’ve had terminations, it’s no big deal… you can always have another… it’s not the right time for you… blah blah blah….’ because ultimately, THEIR truth is not YOUR truth. And what they WON’T tell you is how abortion can make your depression 100x worse and you are doing something you can never, EVER undo. And that there IS no perfect time or situation. Maybe it’s not the right time, or the right father, and maybe you have millions of eggs.. but later you may try to get pregnant ‘when the time is right’.. and then it won’t work, and then knowing what you’ve done, that you had a perfect chance and blew it.. that is one of the most heartbreaking things in the world. Not to mention the fact that abortion (both DNC and medical) is the most violent, painful procedure you can imagine. For some women, they may say they are fine and it doesn’t bother them, but for many, they feel traumatically violated for the rest of their lives. It does something to your soul that cannot be described. And you may think you are fine for years, but that’s because you’re suppressing it…. but someday it may come back with a vengeance. As a woman, it’s within our genetic code (well.. for most women).. to protect our own offspring. But to allow someone to kill your unborn baby (which is really what it is, whether you are ‘pro-choice’ or ‘pro-life’)….. it can mess you up on a deep level for the rest of your life.
   Do you have any idea how much support there is nowadays for young, unmarried mothers? Tons more than there ever was in the past. State programs, church programs, etc. etc.. Let me be the one to say, if you have any interest in going through with this.. you CAN do it. Your depression may be a temporary thing… but abortion is forever. Who knows, you may blink and find yourself in a great job, and doing great. I’m not religious… but PLEASE think very, very carefully about the huge choice in front of you. If you have any maternal instinct whatsoever & plan to have kids, chances are this will come back to haunt you in the worst way. It doesn’t seem like it now, but you would be surprised at what time can do, especially if you wait too long and then are unable to conceive when you want to. You are at the perfect age (physically) to have a kid. But yes it is a huge challenge & will probably make you grow up fast. Just remember this child’s life, is far more precious and sacred than any job, or phase of depression, or boyfriend, or financial situation. DON’T keep this to yourself. Contact the family members you trust & ask for the support, ask them if you have this baby, will they help you? This is the way life used to be.. and the way it SHOULD be. This is your parents’ grandchild, your Grandparents (if you have) Great-grandchild, your siblings’ (if you have) niece/nephew, your Aunts’ & Uncles’ great-niece/nephew, etc. This could be the biggest joy of your life… although it doesn’t seem like it now because you are scared. But let me tell you…. don’t make this decision because of fear….!! You say you don’t “have it together”… well join the club! If you are intelligent, have a good work ethic, reasonably healthy, have some support.. and you truly love your kid, you will be fine. In fact many times, a baby is a kick in the butt to “get it together” much faster. But whatever you do, don’t have the kid and then resent it for ‘ruining your life’.. because what is it you’re really missing anyway? Partying? Whatever.. you’re not missing anything. Traveling? Lots of people travel with their kid. College? Maybe it’s harder, but lots of moms go to school… etc… you see my point?

   As for adoption… I would say don’t do it. Because you have to live with that too, knowing you gave your child up and they are out there somewhere…. can you really live with that pain? But if you have zero maternal instinct, then perhaps that is the best option…
   Of course all this is assuming your child is healthy. I don’t have any illusions about it being easy when you have a child with disabilities…. Speaking of healthy, (YES I’m shouting here:)

   1) STOP SMOKING already!!! …which you should do anyway, that’s a no-brainer. Your lungs are precious.. why do you hate them? Maybe this baby will give you the strength to quit.
   2) Get off the drugs. Seriously. Anti-depressants are (90% of the time) a trip to nowhere. Even if one seems to be helping you now, half the time they stop working and you can spend years on the drug merry-go-round, always trying new ones, and on & on. Get to the root of what is making you depressed & anxious. Go to a counselor if you’re not already… Most cities have a low-cost mental health place. And know that most people suffer from depression & anxiety, at least to some degree. That’s part of life, there is probably nothing ‘wrong’ with you… and don’t let a doctor tell you you have a ‘chemical imbalance’ unless s/he can do a test and prove it to you! Talk to the doc ASAP about your concerns (re the baby) and ask them how to get off as quickly as possible. Geez, this drug causes seizures when you go off it? Seriously?! Could it really be that good for you to take? If you’re taking it and you’re still depressed & anxious,, then HELLO– it’s obviously not working, and making you worse (seizures). SO, stop taking it!
   Listen….. when you in the throes of depression, there is a reason for it. It’s OK to ‘drop out’ of life for a while until you get to the root of it, your body/mind is trying to heal itself. But you have to help yourself do it! Think of it this way– This baby, if you choose to have it, could give you a huge responsibility to focus on, something to ‘live for’,, it will change your life. Perhaps you’ll still be struggling.. but then you can deal with that as it comes. But, it’s very important to have lots of support.
   If you feel you can talk to your parents, ask if they would help support you for the first 2 years until your child is in preschool, then you can look for a part-time job. Ask if they will babysit when you need to go somewhere or need a break, or if they will help pay for one. Ideally, the man in your life will BE A MAN and live up to his responsibility. If not as your partner, then as a proper father. So you need to establish that right away. Actually, since he is 50% to blame for getting you preg, HE should be supporting you both… that’s the least a man could do. It may take the courts to decide that, but so be it. But if he doesn’t want the child, DO NOT let that make you decide. It is 100% YOUR decision…. many times they guy comes around, but if he doesn’t…. it’s his loss. Trust your gut, and tune out the clamor all around you.. the other opinions, the pressure, the doubts, etc… and go with your gut. What is it telling you?
   You might even be able to get disability for a while until you are doing better. Again, talk to your counselor or social services about it.
   Best of luck sweetie…. and again, you CAN do this!!! (I just want to be the counterbalance for all those voices inside & outside your head who are saying you can’t!)
9. Divine Oubliette says:

   July 25, 2010 at 11:07 am

   Risk Category – D
   * Positive evidence of human fetal risk exists.
   * Potential benefits may warrant use of the drug in pregnant women despite potential risks (e.g. life threatening situations or serious illness).

   Fetal Risk
   * Fetotoxic in animals causing fetal resorption and increased fetal loss.
   * Crosses human placenta. No well-controlled human data but benzodiazepines are associated with increased risk of congenital anomalies if used in 1st trimester. Chronic use of benzodiazepines throughout pregnancy is associated with neonatal withdrawal and if used in last weeks of pregnancy they can cause neonatal CNS depression.

   Breast Feeding
   * Excreted into milk and potential to cause sedation, feeding difficulties and weight loss in nursing infants.
   http://safefetus.com/DrugDetail.asp?DrugId=207&TradeName=Ativan&TradeId=501

   Considering the danger to the pregnancy and your mental instability, you should consider aboriton.

   If you need free counseling while you are making your decision (they respect your decision whatever it is): http://www.yourbackline.org

   Info if you need it . . . .
   If you go to a Planned Parenthood clinic that has a low-income program it can be as cheap as 100$. If you tells them you have no job, no money and no support they will likely have you pay the minimum for the procedure and get donations to cover the rest. 1-800-230-PLAN (1-800-230-7526) to find the Planned Parenthood clinic nearest you. If you are underage it will mostly likely be free and it’s always confidential.

   You have the choice between the pill (which can be taken up to 11weeks, at home or at a friends house) or the vacuum method (in clinic procedure). Personally I used the pill method so I could be at home with my husband but some women want to have the surgical, so it’s done and over with when they leave the clinic.

   You will be financially screened – usually this goes on the honor system, weight/height taken, blood pressure checked, pricked -fingertip- to check for rH factor and anemia, you will receive an ultrasound or sonogram to determine gestational age. You may be asked if you want to view the image, this is up to you. You will receive antibiotics, anti-nausea tabs and pain meds. Take them ALL. You must finish at the very least your course of antibiotics. Follow all aftercare instructions and go back to your after care appt. This last step is vital, you must go back for your aftercare appt! Abortion begins a new menstrual cycle. You should have a regular period in 4 to 8 weeks.you should have the option of receiving birth control – again this will most likely be free, take it and use it correctly.

   If you are underage you may want to check this site out to see about parental consent laws and whatnot. http://www.sexetc.org/state *Even if it says you need parental consent, you don’t. Call PP and tell them you cannot tell your parents; by law, a judicial bypass must be available to those minors who just cannot get their parents/guardians permission. A judge signs the parental consent acting as a de facto guardian. Abortion funding http://www.nnaf.org/help.html

   Some state medicaid program do pay for it, use this link and figure out if your state covers it. If they do, you can go to “welfare” office and get emergency coverage and the state and taxes will help pay for it. http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/book/companion.asp?id=20&compID=64

   If you have any more questions or want/need to talk about it drop me an email.

   It is entirely possible to have an abortion and not feel guilt because you knew it was the right thing to do.
   ImNotSorry.net

   ~Pro-Choice Momma; Have had an abortion and I have a 15 month old daughter . I believe in protecting my daughter’s choice.

   Abortion: There is a Consensus
   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsSQiazUvgo

   Ps – Not in the US?
   Sexual Health Services and Abortion Clinics Worldwide
   http://www.womenonwaves.org/article-456-en.html

   Ps – Category A
   Controlled studies in women fail to demonstrate a risk to the fetus in the first trimester (and there is no evidence of a risk in later trimesters), and the possibility of fetal harm appears remote.
   Category B
   Either animal-reproduction studies have not demonstrated a fetal risk but there are no controlled studies in pregnant women, or animal-reproduction studies have shown an adverse effect (other than a decrease in fertility) that was not confirmed in controlled studies in women in the first trimester (and there is no evidence of a risk in later trimesters).
10. Serena says:

    July 25, 2010 at 11:43 am

    you should really read this thread:
    http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ah9vk.STcS.UZ3q7Zeu0K3gjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20100321203619AAaClIy