Were you disppointed when you found out the gender of your baby?
I was told my whole pregnancy that I was having a girl and I was tickled pink. I was so relieved that I was going to have a girl and be able to dress my baby in pretty dresses and know that it would be able to do cute arts and crafts such as bead necklaces. I was ready to be surrounded by pinkness and butterflies and of course I had to have everything that was girly, frilly and pink for my baby. So when the doctor announced it was a boy, I was a little more than stunned. I remember thinking (and still do at times) that I don’t know the first thing about boys and I have no clue what to do with them. I’m not sports orriented in any way. I even cried when I packed away all the beautiful girl things that I wasn’t able to return in the hopes that one day I will have a little girl. Since that overwhelming day I have come to love my son and I find myself loving the boyish features that are already present. I love my son more than anything in the world and every day I find that I love him even more. There are times I still feel a little sad about not having a little girl, especially since my friends all seem to have little baby girls but I wouldn’t trade my son for anything. I am blessed to have him but I think its time that someone opens up a discussion about the sadness that can come from finding out the baby’s gender is different than what you really wanted. It can bring thoughts of guilt and even depression and therefore needs to be addressed. It has been studied that it can even lead to worse post partum depression.
Has anyone gone through this and have stories that they want to share? Anybody secretly wishing for a different gender? Does it make you want to try for another one? Have you found that after having your baby that you overcame these issues? Please share!
Here is a great website to check out for support:
http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/fetal_development/genetics_gender/article/overcoming-gender-disappointment
*The ultrasound technician did it twice and both times told me that I was absolutely having a girl, that there was no doubt.
I didn’t open up anything big and so was able to return a lot of itm but things I had collected on sales and clearences througout, I could not return.
I know its more about having a healthy baby which is why people in this situation can experience great guilt over it which can lead to depression. Unless you have expereinced it, its something you may not be able to fully understand.
Tagged with: baby • disppointed • found • Gender • Were
Filed under: Pregnancy Depression Support
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Aw that hasn’t happend to me but it would totally suck! With my first pregnancy it was a girl and I too went out and got everything pink and frilly. I think I woulda cried if she came out as a boy.
This pregnancy it’s a boy and i’m stoked! I just hope that he isn’t a girl..lol.
I was lucky and got exactly what I wanted with all three pregnancies.
A very close friend of mine was devastated when she found out she was having a daughter. She always wanted two boys and already had one, so was estatic to be pregnant a second time. The thought of having a daughter just scared her to death I suppose. She felt like there was so much more responsibility and worries that came with having a daughter that didn’t come with having only boys. lol I think it took her several months before she finally accepted the news. I understand where she was coming from, but I had to constantly remind her that “healthy baby” should be her number one goal, not gender.
I had a coworker of mine had the same situation as you (in reverse). She was told it was a boy, only to give birth to a girl. Lucky for her, she had done very gender neutral colors on everything.
I don’t think it should matter’s what gender your baby is just bringing a life into the world is a miracle.
Who told you your “whole” pregnancy that you were going to have a girl? No one can tell except the ultrasound. If you don’t want the hassle of not being able to return things, don’t buy things until you know for sure.
And no, I was not disappointed.
Was the ultrasound just wrong?
It was very hard when I was told my 2nd was a boy, I had so hoped for a girl. It was difficult for the last 4 months before he got here, but only when I thought about it, mostly I was deflated. Of course when he was born it was so wonderful and I was ecstatic to have him, but I wish I had refrained from finding the sex before he was born so that the desire for a girl would not have been felt so sadly and all I would have is a wonderful baby. The next two times we’re not finding out the gender, we want two more but I’m not going for a 5th if they are both boys, and with my luck they will be boys. I can only prayer for girls.
Well i think in your case that you had the right to be a little upset. I mean even though ultrasounds aren’t 100% accurate it would be sad buying alot of girl stuff then finding out its a boy. I personally do want a girl, but i would be happy with a boy just as well. I just hope i don’t get told one thing then find out its a different gender, that would suck.
Oh yes.
I was like you, I wanted a little girl. I wanted an adorable little version of me running around in sundresses and pigtails. I had the perfect name picked out and even bought a couple of girly outfits because I was SO sure I was having a girl.
We found out when I was 19 weeks pregnant that we were having a little boy. My heart dropped and I was stunned. I just could not believe that “gut” feeling I had was wrong. I tried to come to grasps with it and did until I called my grandmother(she had 4 great-grandsons before our son so she was hoping we would have her first great-granddaughter) to tell her what we were having and she said “I guess I didn’t pray hard enough.” That really stung. Then a few days after that my brother and SIL announced they were having a baby girl. WHAT!?!? I wondered why God was doing this to me after I had prayed for so long for a little girl.
Throughout the rest of my pregnancy I did come to terms with having a little boy and even got excited about it. A mini-me of my husband was going to be adorable! Then, on the day he was born, I fell totally in love with all 7 lbs. 3 oz. of him. He was absolutely perfect and I wouldn’t have changed a thing about him.
He’s now almost 15 months and I couldn’t imagine a day without him. I love seeing his little face in the mornings and I love watching him develop into such a little guy. He’s a Mommy’s boy, though, and I love that the most!
No, I was told it was a girl and it was, I’m happy I got a girl
I thanked God I had a healthy baby. And you should, too. And if you are obsessing about postpartum depression, you need to see a shrink.
i was told it would be a girl and i have a girl
I desperately wanted a boy. So much so that when the ultrasound tech told me it was a girl I said “Are you sure? Check again.” My response to her second check was just “Oh.” I was pretty upset for awhile.
Now that my daughter is here, I couldn’t imagine having had a boy instead of her. She’s so cool and cute that I never even think about it, and I actually feel kind of bad that I was upset that she was what she is.
If we try again, I’d want a boy, just so I could have one of each. But we wouldn’t get pregnant again just to try for a boy.
I just wanted to add that of course everyone wants a healthy baby first and foremost, but sometimes women really really want a specific gender to be their first, or second, or sixth and it sucks to get your hopes dashed.
i didnt care what i had but i can see where your coming from and you are in no way wrong to have those feelings, people get excited it happens and when its not what you wanted or planned for and got excited for, you probably planned her future i can imagine feelings of guilt and depression, but of course youll come to love your baby either way. I knwe all along i was having a boy, ultrasound said boy, got a 3d to double check and u coudl CLEARLY tell lol try that next time..i dont care what i have next time, another boy would be cute cuz of brothers and a lil girl would be amazing
i have to say i think if i had a girl, my bf would have been a little sad as obviously he wanted a boy first.
I havent experienced it BUT i do fully understand, my friend wanted a boy soo bad and was convinced told she had a girl and WANTED the ultrasound to be wrong
she didnt accept it until she had a 3d ultarsound and could see for sure, at 34 weeks pregnant!
I won’t deny it. I was hoping for a boy(outside of a healthy happy baby) but I’d be lying if I said I was disappointed my daughter is a girl.
No, but we did not know what we were having. I am all for not finding out the sex because you may get disappointed while being pregnant because you might have wanted a particular sex and that becomes absolutely irrelevant once you see your beautiful baby. You will fall in love with your baby no matter what it is so why cause yourself to feel disappointed if that makes sense.
I waited to find out the sex of my baby and I was praying for a girl. I got one, I was so happy!
I’d like to have one more baby and this time I’m praying for a boy. I think if I found out it was a girl I would be secretly disappointed, of course LOVE HER TO PIECES and get over it but I think I’d still be a tad disappointed.
it didnt happen to me but to my sister. she had four boys. after the birth of the first one, she wanted girls so bad that after the birth of the other boys she would cry. she confided that it was not from joy but because they were boys. she even went into a deep depression after the birth of the last one. We know that part of that was post partum, but part was because she didnt get a girl. the youngest is now 10years old and she has pretty much given up on any more children. she has learned to deal with it, but like one of the other ladies said, it should be about having a healthy baby, not about the gender. but that doesnt really help when you are feeling depressed because you didnt get what you were hoping for. I hope you will be able to get help and dont let it destroy you like it destroyed my sister.
I wasn’t. I didn’t care about the gender at all. My husband, however, was so upset when we found out we were having a girl. He grew to love her and now wouldn’t have it any other way of course
but we’re having a boy this time and he’s extatic!